How to Make Friends in a New City: Your First 90 Days

To make friends in a new city, spend your first two weeks trying things once, then pick two you'll go to every week where the same people show up. Until your housing is settled, choose ones that still work if you change apartments. Around week eight, invite one or two people to something outside those weekly things. At day 90 you probably won't have a close friend yet. You should have a handful of people who know your name and at least one who has said yes to a plan.

It's your second Saturday in town. Your phone has six group chats from home and nobody to text about brunch. Much of the advice on how to meet people in a new city treats you like any adult who wants more friends. But the first few months after a move are a different situation: you don't know anyone local, you may not know which neighborhood you'll end up in, and your evenings haven't filled up yet. This plan is built for that window, week by week.

Why the First 90 Days After a Move Are Different

The research on how long friendship takes was done on people in a very similar spot. For his 2018 study, communication researcher Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas surveyed 355 adults who had moved in the last six months and were looking for new friends in their new homes, then checked his findings with college freshmen who had just moved to campus. He estimated it takes roughly 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend, and found that time spent hanging out and joking around counted, while hours spent working together didn't count as much. We break down the full study in The 50-Hour Friendship Rule.

Many people move for work: job or business opportunities were the most common reason movers gave for choosing a new community in a 2008 Pew Research Center survey, cited by 44%. Coworkers help, but since Hall found that time spent working together counts for less, treat them as a start, not a plan. And if you moved for a partner's job, or don't have a job here yet, you don't have that either.

Many moves stay local. In 2022, 53.5% of people who moved stayed in the same county (Census Bureau, Current Population Survey). This plan is for the longer moves, where your old friends are now a flight or a long drive away. Three things are different for you:

You start at zero locally. No friend-of-a-friend in town, no one to bring you along the first time.
Your map isn't settled. With a sublet, corporate housing or a first lease you already regret, a group next to your current address may not be next to your address in four months.
Your calendar is empty now, and it won't stay that way. Work ramps up, weekends fill with errands and trips home. The weekly things you claim in the first two months are the easiest ones to keep.

The 90-Day Plan at a Glance

Phase	When	Main move	Checkpoint
Sample	Days 1–14	Try 4 to 6 things once each; ask your network who they know in town	Two options that fit your real schedule
Lock in	Weeks 3–6	Lease signed: one go-anywhere activity plus one near home. Still in a sublet: two go-anywhere activities	Five names, and someone greets you first
Move it outside	Weeks 7–10	Ask a local to show you something; host or organize one small get-together	One yes
Check and adjust	Weeks 11–13	Run the day-90 check; once you sign a lease, swap one for something near home	A plan for months 4 to 6

The weeks are a guide, not a deadline. If your move lands in a busy stretch at work, or right before the holidays, stretch each phase rather than skipping one. Our general guide to making friends as an adult suggests starting with one setting, and our LA newcomer plan does too, because LA traffic makes variety expensive. After a long-distance move to most cities, we'd sample first and then keep two, because you have nobody else to fall back on while the first one finds its feet.

Days 1–14: How to Meet People in a New City Before You Commit

Don't sign up for a season of anything yet. Try four to six things that could become weekly, once each, and pay more attention to when and where they happen than to how exciting they look. A great Thursday group is useless if your new job turns out to run late on Thursdays, and it often takes a few weeks to learn what your real schedule looks like.

Mix the kinds of things you try. A run club, a rec league or a climbing gym is easy to show up to alone, but so is a board game night, a language class, a choir, a volunteer shift, a library book club, a congregation or your college's alumni chapter. Meetup, your city's parks and rec calendar and the local subreddit are good places to find what repeats.

Many run clubs, most library events and most volunteer shifts are free; leagues, gyms and classes usually aren't, so budget for the one or two you'll actually keep. Moving in winter? Lean toward indoor options, or outdoor groups that keep meeting all winter. Many run clubs and hiking groups do, with layers and headlamps.

Sports plans are easy to try once. The activity carries the conversation, so you don't have to. GRASS, the app we make, is a dating app for meeting new people through sports, whether you end up friends or dating, and it's a newer way to find those plans. Instead of matching first, you join plans other people post, like a Saturday trail run or a pickup volleyball game, or post your own. We're still early in the U.S., so check whether anything is posted near you yet; in a lot of cities you may be the one posting the first plan. If nothing is there yet, a run club or rec league does the same job.

Send one message this week. To your group chats, old coworkers and family, and your partner's new coworkers if you moved for their job: "I just moved to [city]. Who do you know here?" A warm introduction skips the hardest part, which is being a stranger. Treat each intro as one coffee, not a friendship test. Even if you never click, that person may invite you to something where you meet someone you do.

If your housing is temporary, favor things tied to an activity rather than a neighborhood: a run club that meets at a central spot, a rec league, a climbing gym near work, a volunteer shift downtown. Those come with you when you move across town. The neighborhood coffee shop and the pickup game in your building can wait for the lease.

Use "I just moved here" while it's true. It's the easiest opener you'll ever have. Newcomers get a pass on basic questions, and many people are glad to answer them: "Where do you get coffee around here?" "Is this group always this big?" In a year it'll sound strange. Right now it's normal.

Keep it safe while you sample. Start with group settings in public places, meet anyone from an app or online group somewhere with other people around the first time, and share your location with a friend back home when you're heading somewhere new.

Weeks 3–6: Lock In Two Weekly Things

Pick two things from your sampling and go every week, at the same time. Two, not one, because with only one, everything rides on that group clicking. Which two depends on your housing:

If you know where you'll live for the next year: one go-anywhere activity that works from any address (like a weekly run club or a class series) and one close to home. Sociologist Rebecca Adams told the New York Times in 2012 that close friendships need proximity, repeated unplanned contact, and a setting where people relax. The place you can walk to is the one you'll still show up to on a tired Tuesday.
If you're in a sublet or still apartment hunting: two go-anywhere activities for now. Swap one for something near home after you sign, which may line up with the day-90 check.

Put them on different kinds of days, one on a weekday and one on the weekend, so a busy week at work rarely takes out both. If you moved for a partner's job, work remotely or are still job hunting, make the weekday one a daytime or early-evening thing, like a weekday volunteer shift or a library event, so you're not waiting all week for Saturday.

Showing up at the same time is how the "unplanned" part happens: you keep running into the same faces, and the real conversations happen in the minutes before and after. By the end of week six, aim to know five people by name and have at least one person say hi to you first. That's when you stop being new to that group. The fastest way there is the same line as before: tell people you just moved here. It gives regulars an easy reason to ask how you're settling in, and a reason to remember you next week.

If nothing you tried repeats every week, start one. Ask two people from a group you tried to do the same walk, run or game at the same time each week. You can also host on Meetup, or post the plan on GRASS, like "Wednesdays 6:30pm, pickup volleyball, tacos after," and let whoever joins come back. A plan that repeats is what turns strangers into regulars. Pick a public spot, and tell a friend where you'll be the first few times.

Weeks 7–10: Spend Time Together Outside the Activity

This is often the stretch where the plan feels like it isn't working. People are friendly, but nobody has texted you yet. That's the stage, not a verdict. Hall counted hanging out and joking around toward friendship, and working together for less. Our read is that the coffee after the run is more of that than the run itself. This phase is about adding that kind of time, and being new makes two kinds of invites easier.

Ask a local to show you something. "I still haven't been to the farmers market everyone talks about. Anyone want to go Saturday?" Asking a regular, or two of them at once, is often an easy yes, because it lets them be the expert. Asking a couple of people also keeps it clearly friendly rather than date-like, if that matters to you.

Host one small get-together. A move is the one excuse that needs no explaining. If you have the space, make it a low-key housewarming: pizza, a few chairs, nothing finished. In a sublet or a small place, do the same thing as a park picnic, a board game café table or a group dinner you book. Invite people you've seen several times at your weekly things, plus anyone from the warm intros, and tell them they can bring a friend. If you'd rather not share your address yet, the park or café version is the safer first one, and tell a friend back home who's coming. People who barely know each other now have you in common, so nobody has to carry the conversation alone.

If someone says no, assume it was a busy week and try again in two or three weeks with a different plan.

Weeks 11–13: The Day-90 Check

Around day 90, check where you are. Not "do I have a best friend here yet," which few people have at three months, but whether the structure is working. These cut-offs are our own rules of thumb, not research findings.

Signal	On track	Keep going	Time to adjust
Names you know across your two weekly things	8 or more	5 to 7	Under 5
Someone greets you first	At both	At one	At neither
Time with someone outside the activity	More than once	Once	Not yet
A group where people stay after	Both	One	Neither
They still fit your schedule	Almost every week	Most weeks	You miss more than you make

If three or more rows land in "On track" or "Keep going," keep both, and if you've signed a lease, swap one go-anywhere activity for something near home now. If three or more land in "Time to adjust," replace the weaker one, meaning the one where you know fewer names, with something you tried in your first two weeks. Change the group, not the city. Three months is early.

Here's the honest math. Say you get about an hour a week of real conversation with the person you see most, over ten weeks, plus two or three outside plans of a couple of hours each. By our rough estimate that's around 15 hours, well short of Hall's 50. If you then get to two or three hours a week with that person, you'd reach 50 somewhere around month six to eight. What you've built by day 90 is the structure that gets you there.

Five Mistakes That Stall the First 90 Days

Waiting until you're settled. Settling takes longer than you think, and by then the empty evenings that made it easy to start are gone.
Counting on coworkers or a partner alone. They help, but a job can change, and one person can't be your whole social life.
Going home every weekend. Keep your old friends, but schedule calls and visits so they don't eat the weekend thing you need here. If Thanksgiving or December travel falls in your first six weeks, tell your groups you'll be back, and go back.
Still sampling after week two. Trying something new every week feels productive, but going back to the same place is what builds familiarity.
Judging the city by month one. Early on you're surrounded by strangers and maybe a few acquaintances. That's the stage you're in, not a sign the place is wrong for you.

If You Moved With a Remote Job

Remote work removes the one built-in setting most movers get, so don't skip either weekly thing. A coworking day pass or a regular café table works as your weekday setting, and can become your near-home one once you sign a lease. Day passes cost money, so try one before committing to a membership.

FAQ: Making Friends After Moving to a New City

How long does it take to make friends in a new city?

Months, not weeks. Jeffrey Hall's 2018 research, which surveyed adults who had moved in the previous six months, estimated about 50 hours together to become casual friends. Because the first weeks are slow, our own rough estimate is around month six to eight with the person you see most, if you build up to two or three hours a week together. A good result at month three is being on friendly terms with a few people.

How do I meet people in a new city when I don't know anyone?

Start with warm introductions: ask everyone you already know who they know in your new city. Then go where the same people come back every week, like a run club, rec league, class or volunteer shift, and keep going to the two that fit your schedule.

What should I do in my first week in a new city?

Learn your commute and which evenings are really free, try one or two recurring groups once, and send one message to your network asking who they know locally. Hold off on season-long sign-ups until you know your schedule.

Is it normal to feel lonely after moving to a new city?

Yes. The first months are often the hardest, because everyone is still new to you, and it tends to ease as weekly activities turn into real relationships. If the loneliness feels heavy or won't lift, talk to a doctor or counselor. If you're in crisis in the U.S., call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), any time.

How do I make friends in a new city as an introvert?

Pick things with a built-in activity, so talking is optional at first: a run club, a climbing gym, a rec league, a volunteer shift, a class. Going every week does more of the work than being outgoing, and small talk gets easier once the faces are familiar.

How do I make friends in a new city if I work remotely?

Replace the office on purpose: keep two weekly activities, with one on a weekday during the day or early evening. A coworking day pass or a regular café table can be your weekday setting (make it a near-home one once you sign a lease), since without coworkers those weekly activities are your whole social structure.

Do apps help you make friends after moving?

They help with the first introduction, as long as it turns into something that repeats. Meetup lists recurring groups by topic, and apps built around sports, such as GRASS, start from a plan like a weekly run, so meeting someone and seeing them again happen in the same place.

Your First Move This Week

Ninety days from now you'll either have two weekly things and a few names, or the same quiet weekends. The first step takes a minute: send the "who do you know here?" message today, and put two things to try on next week's calendar. If you'd like a sports plan to be one of them, see if anyone near you has posted one on GRASS, or post your own. It's free to download, with optional Premium and Ultimate tiers.

How to Make Friends in a New City: Your First 90 Days, Week by Week